Recent Wears, Part 2: Mycelium Mommy

She's in her no gallbladder, body-hugging silhouette era.

This newsletter is still new, so I wanted to send a big thank you to all of my sexy subscribers! Thank you for being here. Special thanks to my sugar mommy/daddy/glucose guardian who signed up for a paid subscription: Vanessa, Tiffany, Merritt, Gabi, Blaire, Megan, Linda, Molly, Johanna, Stephanie, Lola, and Krista. Sending a big smoocharoo and doing the splits (Jean Claude Van Damme style) in your honor.

My beautiful angel subscribers, please pardon my absence, especially so soon after launching my Substack. On Easter weekend, I ended up having emergency gallbladder surgery and spent the entirety of April recovering (minus the two times I attempted to go to a couple of beauty events and almost fainted) and getting used to my body missing an organ, having to move around carefully so I didn’t bust a stitch. I’ll talk about this more in a future newsletter if anyone cares and won’t be TOO disgusted at the mysteries of the human body!

Anyway, onto the fashions. Now that I’m getting out into the world, going back to meetings and events and hanging out with my friends, I’m really enjoying getting dressed again (however, some things, like bras, are still a little uncomfortable as I have a 2-inch incision right underneath my boobs). I’ve also had to navigate my closet a little differently, looking at it with newborn baby eyeballs since some of my things don’t fit anymore. I’m also REALLY trying not to buy any new clothes, which is always hard for someone who loves clothes..and bags...and shoes. Let’s call this style/life era A.G. (After Gallbladder.)

Editor’s note: since opening up this draft to finish writing, I have bought some new clothes…

Remember when everyone said red and colored tights were “back” last year? I have to admit, I was nervous. What if wearing colored tights unearthed the old twee me? Though, perhaps, twee, like goth, are shackles you can never fully shake. I may have grown out my Bettie bangs years ago and become a blonde, but I won’t be surprised if I revert to my old box-dye ways someday. (Still, it must have done something to my subconscious since I have been listening to The Shins and Belle and Sebastian lately.)

Thankfully, the red tights didn’t cause bangs to sprout from my forehead. I think it’s because I didn’t pair the tights with a fit-and-flare dress and flats. The thought sends chills down my spine for some reason. Perhaps I still have some ModclothPTSD from when I worked there and leaned in a little too hard into the fit-and-flare silhouette. (UMM…it is the 10th anniversary of me writing THIS Refinery29 story about Modcloth killing my “fashion libido.” LMAO!) Don’t get me wrong, I still have some flared skirts and dresses in my closet, but I am truly in my bawdy-hugging era — which brings me to the mushroom-print shift dress from Fashion Brand Company that I ended up wearing with the tights. I actually had it for sale on my Dresscue rack (consignment shop), back in March, but now I’m glad nobody bought it. I’m a big FUNGI nerd, aka mycelium mommy (is that a thing, or did I make it up?) Also, WHOMST will forage mushrooms in a forest with me sometime?

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Instead of having TweeTSD, this sleeveless shift dress and colored tights look makes me feel like a ‘90s cool girl. All I need is a chin-length, black bob with baby clips (not happening THIS time…). I love this HANDBAG from Magic Society. Not only does it make people smile, but it’s surprisingly practical in that it houses all of my daily essentials. (Unlike some of my other bags…see below).

I had this fantasy of painting it green (I love a green witch hand with red nails aesthetic), but I’m crossing my fingers that Magic Society someday makes it in that color. I already bugged the lovely brand founder/genius Nicole a couple of times with that request, haha.

And now to another dress I’ve long been obsessed with! I wore this pink and orange Mara Hoffman popcorn dress a couple of weeks ago to the launch of Althaea, the new skincare brand founded by my favorite dermatologist, Dr. Ava Shamban. I originally bought the same dress a few years ago but I had to return it since it fit too big, but it never came back in stock. Luckily, the Poshmark gods answered my cries. I can’t help but love that totally ‘90s popcorn stretch. I am so sad Mara Hoffman is shutting down! And The Vampire’s Wife!

When I learn how to sew, it's over for you bitches!!!

I also debuted my tulle heart purse from Selezza London, which may not be as practical as the Handbag but still stunning nonetheless. The brand also has this $1000 tulle coat and g-string (sold separately) for anyone interested. Delicious. See you next time, sexy angels!